I Left My Heart…

Almost two years ago, I visited Texas for the first time… Austin to be exact. Its a lovely little city, full of Art and Music and quaint little neighborhoods. When I arrived there, I was strong and confident… full of hope… and full of love. But I was very fragile then... that strength, that confidence, and that hope was shattered when the love was rejected. And when I left Austin, I left more then my heart, I left part of who I was.

Over the past two years, I have been trying to reclaim the parts of me that were lost during that life changing weekend. Journaling, both on paper and online, has helped me sort through issues I might have just glossed over if I had not written them down and given them form. Many of you have been with me through my journey… posting comments of support and encouragement as I have grown into the woman I am today.

The woman I am today is similar to the woman who went to Austin 2 years ago, but is different in so many ways. I feel strong like I did back then. I feel hopeful and confident. In fact, I feel confident enough to return to the place I lost myself to so many months ago. But this time, I am not going to seek love, I am going in pursuit of something much more real. I am going to start over in a new career. To take the step towards the new, more rewarding life that I longed for back then. I had wanted to change my life, and I though that a new relationship would be enough. It wasn’t. It never was. The change I needed to make was much more personal.

This time, I won’t leave my heart… or my strength… or my confidence… in Austin, Texas. No matter how the interviews go, I know that I have taken the first step towards the life I’ve always wanted. And I never needed a man, or anyone else to make this step. That was my mistake last time. It was always my choice to have the life I wanted… it was always my effort that was needed to make this change. And it is, and always has been my choice to share that life with someone else. Someone worthy of the love I am able to give.

The only thing I plan to leave in Austin this time around, is the last bit of self doubt that still lingers from that fateful weekend. I am taking back my power… and taking a huge step into the life I have always dreamed about.